Hmmmmm, the press seems full of men confessing their infidelities. Recently we have had Tigger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole, Mark Owen, Jesse James and now David Boreanaz all confessing their sins. Now should we be asking ourselves if this is normal? I have always believed that men are not monogamous, in fact a woman I worked with for a long time believes they are not. Obviously there are men that are. But as someone else pointed out if you are good looking and famous you have women throwing themselves at you all the time, and it's pretty much par for the course that "the flesh is weak" and at some moment something is going to give.
Let's face it, infidelity is nothing new!
I know a doctor specialized in nutrition and anti aging, and when I explained how difficult it was to resist a plate of chocolates stuck under my nose by my husband, he said that was normal. There is a part of our brain that has not evolved along with the rest. That part is still back in the dark ages and that bit deals with escape, survival and reproduction. So if someone sticks something deliciously tasty under your nose your survival instinct says "EAT".
He also explained how many years ago he had a Danish girlfriend who was very jealous and once said to him, "What would you do if when away at a conference a beautiful female doctor knocked on your hotel room door late one evening wearing nothing but a sexy negligee?" He answered, "Well sleep with her of course!" this is the reproduction side of the brain screaming to be taken into consideration.
This does not mean I am condoning any of the aforementioned males' behavior, I also believe in the sanctity of marriage and if you get married for all the right reasons then your vows should be upheld. But maybe we should ask ourselves if it is realistic?
I was talking to another female friend over dinner one night. She is a very jealous person by nature and her husband travels a lot for his work and she often wonders what he gets up to while away. She asked me if I would want to know if my husband had been unfaithful to me if she found out about it (her husband and mine are very close friends). This is a question I have no answer for. I guess the first instinct is to say well yes of course! But, and this is a mighty big BUT, what would come of it.
In my opinion I GUESS if it was a one night fling never to be seen again I could live without knowing, but I also GUESS, that if my husband was actually having a relationship with another woman he had strong feelings for, then that would change my answer.
To this day I am happily married, my husband also travels a lot for his work, and due to the nature of his work and in some countries he is a "prize catch" and I have often seen women throwing themselves at him. To this day I have no reason to believe or suspect he has ever been unfaithful to me, however, I am no innocent enough to think it hasn't or couldn't happen.
How much of those infidelities are the women involved to blame for. We always hear about the cheating husbands, but what of the women gleefully going for a married man. In the case of the famous unfaithful, all the women would have known in advance that the man they were being seduced by or trying to seduce was married. Whoever initiated the seduction is irrelevant, the "mistress" could have said, "bog off your married and I'm not doing that to a fellow female - find someone else!"
I think the women involved are as much to blame as the men.
When I got was a single mother, divorced from my first husband I met lots of different men. Some were married, it was not something I wanted to get involved with. Where as I could have said, "Well hey, I'm not looking for a partner I just want to have great sex, and a married man is perfect for that - there's no chance of settling down!" But as I said before, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and sleeping with a married man was not something I was willing to do, however attractive!
But women are not always innocent bystanders, or wall flowers waiting to be seduced by the big bad wolf. Lots of them are just as willing to get involved with a married man as he is. So I ask you to consider who really is to blame? My opinion is they both are.
There are always exceptions of course. Men who aren't famous and can easily pull the wool over a woman's eyes do lie and aren't honest about themselves. Many women have been fooled into believing the handsome man they have just met is free and single and is really telling the truth about his feelings.
I think that honesty goes a long way and whereas "the truth hurts" it hurts a lot less than all the lies when you find out about them. So, everyone out there, be true - to yourselves and your loved ones, be honest.
