Bikini Diet

Well it seems to be working :) Having lost 10 kilos last year, 3 have crept back on so it was time for some radical action. A 1 month very strict high protein diet - yes I am starving, but after 7 full days of the diet I have lost 1 kilo 800 grs so I have to say that it is working! I have to say it is very limited and extremely boring but the result is what is worth it and it's only for 1 month.

At this time of year I get literally scared about trying on last year's summer clothes, and I know that many women have the same fear. It is thoroughly depressing to find that over the cold winter months we have put on weight - however little it may be, but our clothes no longer look or feel the same. Action must be taken! Putting the tighter fitting clothes down to them shrinking in the wash is not a valid excuse to go out and buy a bigger size!

So if anyone out there is interested in my diet, just leave me a message and I will pass it on willingly - always glad to help anyone in need!

Boredom

I am so fecking bored with myself it is untrue! What to do? I have no idea at all - any suggestions out there? Anyone else feeling this way?

I even look like this, beard and all - considering I am a blonde woman of 41 means that BOREDOM has really taken over!

Infidelity

Hmmmmm, the press seems full of men confessing their infidelities. Recently we have had Tigger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole, Mark Owen, Jesse James and now David Boreanaz all confessing their sins. Now should we be asking ourselves if this is normal? I have always believed that men are not monogamous, in fact a woman I worked with for a long time believes they are not. Obviously there are men that are. But as someone else pointed out if you are good looking and famous you have women throwing themselves at you all the time, and it's pretty much par for the course that "the flesh is weak" and at some moment something is going to give.

Let's face it, infidelity is nothing new!

I know a doctor specialized in nutrition and anti aging, and when I explained how difficult it was to resist a plate of chocolates stuck under my nose by my husband, he said that was normal. There is a part of our brain that has not evolved along with the rest. That part is still back in the dark ages and that bit deals with escape, survival and reproduction. So if someone sticks something deliciously tasty under your nose your survival instinct says "EAT".

He also explained how many years ago he had a Danish girlfriend who was very jealous and once said to him, "What would you do if when away at a conference a beautiful female doctor knocked on your hotel room door late one evening wearing nothing but a sexy negligee?" He answered, "Well sleep with her of course!" this is the reproduction side of the brain screaming to be taken into consideration.

This does not mean I am condoning any of the aforementioned males' behavior, I also believe in the sanctity of marriage and if you get married for all the right reasons then your vows should be upheld. But maybe we should ask ourselves if it is realistic?

I was talking to another female friend over dinner one night. She is a very jealous person by nature and her husband travels a lot for his work and she often wonders what he gets up to while away. She asked me if I would want to know if my husband had been unfaithful to me if she found out about it (her husband and mine are very close friends). This is a question I have no answer for. I guess the first instinct is to say well yes of course! But, and this is a mighty big BUT, what would come of it.

In my opinion I GUESS if it was a one night fling never to be seen again I could live without knowing, but I also GUESS, that if my husband was actually having a relationship with another woman he had strong feelings for, then that would change my answer.

To this day I am happily married, my husband also travels a lot for his work, and due to the nature of his work and in some countries he is a "prize catch" and I have often seen women throwing themselves at him. To this day I have no reason to believe or suspect he has ever been unfaithful to me, however, I am no innocent enough to think it hasn't or couldn't happen.

How much of those infidelities are the women involved to blame for. We always hear about the cheating husbands, but what of the women gleefully going for a married man. In the case of the famous unfaithful, all the women would have known in advance that the man they were being seduced by or trying to seduce was married. Whoever initiated the seduction is irrelevant, the "mistress" could have said, "bog off your married and I'm not doing that to a fellow female - find someone else!"

I think the women involved are as much to blame as the men.

When I got was a single mother, divorced from my first husband I met lots of different men. Some were married, it was not something I wanted to get involved with. Where as I could have said, "Well hey, I'm not looking for a partner I just want to have great sex, and a married man is perfect for that - there's no chance of settling down!" But as I said before, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and sleeping with a married man was not something I was willing to do, however attractive!

But women are not always innocent bystanders, or wall flowers waiting to be seduced by the big bad wolf. Lots of them are just as willing to get involved with a married man as he is. So I ask you to consider who really is to blame? My opinion is they both are.

There are always exceptions of course. Men who aren't famous and can easily pull the wool over a woman's eyes do lie and aren't honest about themselves. Many women have been fooled into believing the handsome man they have just met is free and single and is really telling the truth about his feelings.

I think that honesty goes a long way and whereas "the truth hurts" it hurts a lot less than all the lies when you find out about them. So, everyone out there, be true - to yourselves and your loved ones, be honest.

Bread

I have always loved to cook. I spent a lot of my childhood in the kitchen with my mom. She was my best friend and we used to laugh a lot while we cooked - we even used to dance! My mother always said, "If you help make dinner, you don't have to do the washing up afterwards!" Me who hates washing up took that to heart and I learnt to cook with my mother. Even before I was of an age to learn, I have memories of coming home from school to a house that smelt of fresh baked bread, mom would cut us a slice - still warm, and spread it with butter and jam - delicious!

Since stopping working all day in an office I have been daring to try things in the kitchen my mother did constantly like making my own chicken stock and now bread. I have recently started making bread. I have to admit it is a lot easier than I expected - all you need is patience, something I lack entirely.

There are fantastic bread makers on the market (which I don't have), and ready mixed flours to make your life a lot easier - and they are fantastic. I am really enjoying the experimenting even if my waste line doesn't like it!

To Facebook or not to Facebook? That is the question.

Since I discovered Facebook I have reconnected with lots of old friends from school and several of my extended family. I find it lots of light-hearted fun and am really enjoying it. It is a quick and easy way to stay in touch. I do not accept friend requests from anyone I don't know and use it exclusively for my own enjoyment.

However, as you are all aware, there is a lot of hoo-ha in the press about social networking sites and I have to say that, where young people are concerned, it can be a very dangerous thing. Children and adolescents are curious and have no sense of danger. The pedophiles are deliberately deceiving them into believing they are friends of the same age and we all know what outcome that has had. Unfortunately for sites like Facebook, these criminals are giving them a bad name.

All parents are worried for their children and try to protect them, and try to make them understand the dangers out there, and how easy it is for them to be tricked into believing something which is a lie. It is not easy to get the message across. Children tend to think their parents don't understand and are talking rubbish or are being prying or over protective. How do you make your child understand the dangers out there.

When we were their age, social networking sites, mobile phones and email didn't exist. The dangers were others. It wasn't as "easy" for criminals to get to us, but it did happen. Now it is so easy for them.

However, I do believe that children should be allowed to use new technology, after all their entire future will be based on the use of technology. They need to learn how to use it to their advantage, but the dangers also have to be emphasized. They have to be emphasized in school and at home.

I have just installed a computer in my 10 year old's bedroom. But before switching it on I had a long conversation with her about Facebook (she's not allowed), Messenger and Skype. For the moment we have agreed that I will be allowed access just to make sure that nothing funny is going on. She says she understands but only time will tell.

Parents should try to have open and understanding relationships with their children. If you are seen by them to be secretive or to keep things from them then they will act in the same way. We should not be judgmental and try to be understanding of them. Getting them to understand that we were young once too, and that our problems were different back then but they were still problems that had to be dealt with.

I had a great relationship with my parents and I could literally talk to them about anything. Open communication is the best thing. I hope that I will be able to cultivate that trust with my own children.

Should one just sit around?

Ok, I probably shouldn't be writing this - not now anyway. It's almost 2am and I am alone. Married with 2 kids and feeling lonely. Life has a funny way of changing. Things hardly ever work out the way you think they are going to. There are times in your life when you have a great friendship and you can never imagine that friendship ever ending or simply changing. But life changes all the time and quite often so do friendships.

So many people I knew and believed were my closest friends and really helped me when I was a single mother and battling my ex-husband in court. Suddenly when life got better, I met my current husband, fell madly in-love and got married, lots of them disappeared. People who knew every aspect of my life and that I cherished suddenly didn't return my calls. Does that classify me as a charity case? Someone they felt sorry for and thought they had to help and then when things got better for me and I was happy, they no longer felt they could include me in their circle of friends? Why does this happen?

Having said that, the ones that have stayed around and continue to be friends, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are true friends, even if I can count them all on one hand and still not use all my fingers! To them, I send my most sincere and heartfelt thanks. Thanks for being there in the bad times and the good times.

Giving up my job has cut me off from a lot of opportunities to maintain friendships and make new ones. My husband's job means he is away a lot and I am therefore, on my own. Most of my friends are married with children, and the possibility of a girls night out for dinner and a good conversation, just isn't on the cards.

Now, my dilemma is, should I just sit around waiting for my husband to come home? Should I just do what is expected of me, stay home, look after the children and be bored brainless? My husband has a wonderful social job in which he gets to meet loads of interesting and fun people, I have come to envy him. I would love to be able to enjoy myself too when he is away and not just have to cope with reading of his activities on twitter or from telephone conversations with him? I try hard to smile down the phone and feel happy for that even though he is far from home, and I know he misses us, but he cannot deny he has lots of fun. I do find it hard as I would love to be there by his side enjoying it all with him.

I feel left out.

I always said I did not want to be stuck at home, and here I am. Stuck.

I am not talking about going out to clubs and dancing until dawn. Just some fun and witty conversation over a decent meal every now and again would be just fine. I have done things such as joined a Pilates group where all the other women in the class were housewives with husbands and kids too, no one socialized outside of the class beyond a coffee afterwards. I joined a gym before the Pilates class where no one talked to anyone unless they were friends and had signed up together. What is it with people? Why are people becoming so anti social? If you try striking up a conversation with someone on the treadmill next to you they look at you as if you've gone crazy and plug their headphones in!

Inspiration PLEASE! I need to make minor changes in my life!

Being 40 Something

I have a life I can not complain about. I have a wonderful and loving husband, two beautiful kids and a very comfortable life. It hasn't always been that way. In fact, it used to be a totally different story.

My first husband... let's not talk about him :)

By the time I met my second and truly wonderful husband, I was in my mid thirties. Having worked all my life and spent most of it as a single mother too, I was suddenly presented with the opportunity to take my foot off the accelerator for a while. I used to be a secretary, so definitely not a high-flying ambitious business woman juggling meetings, trips and children, just little me earning a decent wage and making ends meet. My husband and I agreed that I needed some time off and my company was reducing its employees so I decided to volunteer to leave. They were very good to me and I got a really good settlement. I decided to take several months off before hunting for another job.

I was quite stressed out and decided to focus on my daughter and my new husband and myself for a while. However, during my time off I became pregnant with my son, so I decided to enjoy my pregnancy without the pressure of work, then my son was born and how could I possibly go back to work with a tiny baby at home? So, there you have it, 3 and a half years later I work part time from home and find myself basically - well, lost.

Are our lives really so defined by our jobs? My husband's is - but then it's his company, if he doesn't work it no one else will!

When I stopped working I thought, wow, life's great no pressure to get to work by a certain time, no boss standing over me, no rush hour traffic. And it is great for a while and then the grey matter kicks in from lack of stimuli and I find myself wondering if I should at least try and go back to work on a full-time basis? There are over 400,000 unemployed in this country so there must be secretaries by the dozen looking for jobs, and then there are the kids, and my husband who would love me to travel with him as often as possible.

I admit that it isn't out of monetary need. It is a case of having a purpose and direction in life, something that is mine, where I am me and not belonging to the kids! Yes children often feel their parents belong to them and are there to do everything for them and when they want it. But to be honest, I need something for me.

I recently turned 40 and suddenly started questioning lots of things in my life. One of them is the direction I am going in. I would love to have something to do that is mine, that enthuses me and gives me satisfaction. With all the opportunities for communication that we have nowadays at our fingertips, I would love to be able to put those opportunities to good use.

I started this blog as an experiment and so far I feel it is a total flop. I don't know if anyone has even read it and no one has ever left a comment. It would be nice to know, so if there is anyone out there reading this and find something akin in it to their own feelings, then please, let me know - it would be lovely.